I need a vacation

so we meet again.
Just me and the keys this time.
No characters.
No setting.
No background.
No clever analogies.
Just me.
I dont have the energy to hide behind my smile.
I dont have the strength to create an imaginary person dealing with real issues.
I no longer care enough to try to disguise my inner thoughts and emotions.
He loves me?
No.
He loves me not.
Liar.
Michelle, gabbie, jerri, raquel, chasity, sherika, kenteshia...
All these girls i have tried to compete with during our time together.
Im tired.
Im sick.
You can have them.
You claim to want me...
But these names are proof that i am not enough for you.
Like.
Eff it.
I cant do this anymore.
Im not hiding behind my smiles.
Im upset.
Im pissed.
Im hurting.
And ur gonna know it.
All of you.
You dont deserve to see me smile when you keep burning me to my core.

So happy go lucky bubbly dorian is going on vacation.
I dont have the endurance to keep putting up this facade.
Sigh....
Im out of breath.

So...This is what you get now.
You dont deserve to know the real me anyway.
Ugh...
Whatever.
Im done.