is this the end?

she stares in the mirror.
mascara streaks run down her cheeks.
she doesn't even know how to feel...
she doesn't know who she sees in the reflection.
beneath the pain in her eyes, used to be a girl with a flicker or hope.
she believed in one last man to stay by her side...
someone she had called friend.
someone she told she loved...
she believed in that love with all her heart.
it felt like the only love she had ever known
but he gave up on that love...
he stopped caring when she moved away.
she didn't know love had a limit...
what happened to forever and always?
what happened to the small possibility of wanting to be with her?

it killed her hopes.
and it killed her heart.

it wasn't supposed to be him...
she could have taken it from anyone but him.
he was her last hope.
she wanted him to be there...
she still wants you him to be there.
but its a position he no longer wants to be in.
so she decided to step back..
and let him live his life.
she always believed in him...in them.
what's there to believe in now?
he promised that he wouldn't be just like every man she gave her heart to...
he told her to be careful with her heart...
but he didn't say the advice applied to him too.

all the times spent together.
all the lonely nights they kept each other company,
all the days her house was his escape..
her family his shelter
his truck her getaway
her embrace his peace
his arms her safety...
what does it mean now...

fade to black

he sits in the corner and weeps.
he weeps for his sins.
he weeps for his soul.
he weeps for his self.
self.
he no longer recognizes the word.
self is someone he lost along this painful journey.

thought he had it all.
perfect girlfriend.
decent family.
bright looking future.
love.
right.

love is a lie. -simple plan-
he plays the song on repeat as he releases his stresses onto his cheeks and shirt.
it all started with his girlfriend.
she started fucking up.
at first it was small stufff.
then it got bigger and bigger until he just couldn't take it.
friends is all he could manage.
however, they both knew it wasn't normal friends.
they were still obligated to each other.
no additional hook ups.
no booskies.
no one else.

but along the way he began to miss the cuddling...
the kind words.
the late night talks.
all the things that made him fall in love.
so he found it elsewhere...
he found someone else he could turn to for all the things she was no longer giving.
mentally.
emotionally.
physically.
he took it all.

is he wrong?
is he wrong for searching for his heart's desires because the one he thought he loved no longer wanted him?
is he wrong for trying to find the happiness he felt his heart deserved?

he cannot find the answers.
all he can find is the tears.
he has been hurt so many times.
it all feels the same to him.
head down, he balls up and rests his head against the wall.
his lips continue to quiver and his chest heaves.
he cries himself to sleep.
now he cannot feel the pain.