fade to black

he sits in the corner and weeps.
he weeps for his sins.
he weeps for his soul.
he weeps for his self.
self.
he no longer recognizes the word.
self is someone he lost along this painful journey.

thought he had it all.
perfect girlfriend.
decent family.
bright looking future.
love.
right.

love is a lie. -simple plan-
he plays the song on repeat as he releases his stresses onto his cheeks and shirt.
it all started with his girlfriend.
she started fucking up.
at first it was small stufff.
then it got bigger and bigger until he just couldn't take it.
friends is all he could manage.
however, they both knew it wasn't normal friends.
they were still obligated to each other.
no additional hook ups.
no booskies.
no one else.

but along the way he began to miss the cuddling...
the kind words.
the late night talks.
all the things that made him fall in love.
so he found it elsewhere...
he found someone else he could turn to for all the things she was no longer giving.
mentally.
emotionally.
physically.
he took it all.

is he wrong?
is he wrong for searching for his heart's desires because the one he thought he loved no longer wanted him?
is he wrong for trying to find the happiness he felt his heart deserved?

he cannot find the answers.
all he can find is the tears.
he has been hurt so many times.
it all feels the same to him.
head down, he balls up and rests his head against the wall.
his lips continue to quiver and his chest heaves.
he cries himself to sleep.
now he cannot feel the pain.