and suddenly

so i was reading something
and then all of a sudden i just got so upset.
and this is what happened....



happiness turns to anger.
smiles turns to frowns.
im pissed.
because it hurts.
im sitting here, tear welling in my eyes.
eyebrows frowning.
i almost want to say i wish it never happened.
but i cant.
because in the end, love is still there.
whether you fly away today or tomorrow or never
you will always be on my mind.

bittersweet.

i can never forget the one thing that hurts to remember.
i hate it.
i hate this.
theres even a little part inside of myself that i hate.
its that part of me that cant let go.
this is pointless.
i am not going to win.
i know this and i am still here.
whether its done today or in a few months or years
the pain will remain the same.
all that changes is the timing.

its like you were supposed to be my protector.
you were the only one who could put that smile on my face.
the one that i get when i look at you...

and you, you are ridiculous.
because not only dont you realize what you have,
but you are blinded because you spend all this time trying to play the victim.
whatever you want you get.
and even if you dont want it
its still waiting right there for when you do.
i mean i dont think you understand how great you have it.
if i could find that thing that you got,
i could finally be happy.
i have given up everything i possibly have to offer.
and it is still not enough.
you dont even have to work at it
and you still get the attention.
wth.

sigh.
im calming down now.
anger turns to sorrow.
frown turns to tears.
the end.